When clients say "Massage" but mean "Sex"

The hard truth is that for some people, when they say "Massage" they actually mean "Sex". Euphemisms are funny in that these people will often do anything to avoid actually asking for sexual services - which means there are two people in a conversation talking about totally different things!

One of the best ways to approach this is like you would do any interaction: with introductions.

The text message that arrives from an unrecognised number: "Do you do Massage?"

The phone call: "I'm round the corner, can I come for a Massage in the next 20 minutes?"

Rather than going straight into answering their question, start with introductions. Let's go with the phone call:

Therapist: "Thanks for getting in touch, I'm [your full name, including surname]. Could I take your name please?"

Mumbling: "It's Bill."

Therapist: "That's great, Bill - and your surname?"

More mumbling: "Smith." or, more often, that click as the person who says Massage but means sex hangs up

Therapist: "Thanks, Bill. So, yes, I do do Massage. What has prompted you to want to book a treatment?"...

If the person on the end of the phone keeps going at this point (and hasn't hung up) they're either unsure how to end a call and will likely disappear and not contact you again, OR - and this has happened to me - they're a genuine client who's really nervous because they've never booked a Massage before and have no idea what to expect.

Everyone has their own style but most importantly, be comfortable. You're a professional. You offer a vital service. And just because someone asks for something you don't offer (even in euphemisms!) they still deserve your professionalism.

 Master Tigger MacGregor - inspired by a conversation at one of the NO HANDS Massage Association Connect Calls